The Walk vs Run

So yes, I made a decision yet again to let go.  Except this may be permanent.  I will possibly always have feelings for you.  I loved you.  But I cannot keep going on being that one person that you thought was a maybe.  I’m no maybe.  I just wish I could help you wake up and see that what those past relationships showed you, would not be what I showed you.  I wish I could mend your heart, but I’m busy mending mine.  Although I would have tried my hardest.  Walking away is so difficult and it hurts like a bitch.  I care a lot about you.  I still can’t help thinking about you day in and day out.  I try to talk to others, but its only you that I want.  I wish I had a chance to be in your arms, but the closest I’ve ever been was that two-second hug.  It felt incredible though.  And I will never forget your smile afterwards or the minor detail of speechlessness.  I hope you do find what you are looking for.  I just pray that its me.  As selfish as that sounds.  I want to be the person you talk to everyday.  I want to hold your hand and kiss you.  I want to be your best friend and partner.  Through thick and thin.  But since I walked away, it may never happen the way I want it to.  I don’t want to give up on you and I hope you aren’t feeling like I am.  I just can’t be this attached unless you are.  I want you to not be okay with me walking away.  But I’m not yours.  I feel stupid for falling so fast for you.  I just pray you can forgive me for that.  And I pray to forgive myself.  I just want you to be happy (addressed to both).  Whatever that may be, whoever that may be.  Just be happy.  You deserve it.  Just like you deserve the stars and moon.  You deserve a thousand angels watching over you.  Because you are such an amazing person.  And even if we never speak again, I’m glad I got to join you for this short run.

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