Hurt

I cannot fathom the hurt I feel right now.  Just falling down a huge spiral and I have a massive headache.  Last night I began missing him and somehow today I have upset enough people that I have no one to really talk to.  I guess my friends think I only talk about me so I won’t talk about me to them anymore.  What are friends for?  I guess I’m a pathetic friend.  Maybe it is true.  I have turned into this horrible person.  Sorry that I have mood swings, sorry I make mistakes, sorry I have emotions that are out of control at times.  Sorry for being me.  Sorry for my anxiety and depression.  Sorry for being me.  Sorry for always having issues.  Sorry that you think I shouldn’t have any.  Sorry yet again for being me.  For feeling things.  For even caring.  I’M SORRY FOR BEING ME.  Since you know its always me.  I’m in the fault for every exam you take, every school lesson you have, for every ex-boyfriends of yours.  Sorry for expressing my feelings to you.  I will hide them and never speak of them ever again.  I will change 100% so you don’t have to deal with the monster that I am.  You know last night I took my fist to my skull like 50 times.  I punched my stomach and lower abdomen.  I punch and scratched my legs this morning.  I’m trying to break me so I can make room for you.  That is all that matters it seems.  Sorry for texting you at all.  SORRY FOR BEING ME.

 

So why don’t you take a look at your issues before you make me apologize for mine.  I’m so fucking sick of people making me hurt more.  They act like their tough love will help me.  How about you go fuck yourselves.  Because newsflash it doesn’t.  Change yourself before you take it out on me for being me.   K Thanks

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